But You Said Yes

The emotional and physical tend to be two different areas of life. But sex

seems to blend these two pretty well. Sex in a relationship seems to be

normal and ordinary. After being with someone for quite a long time, you

just might feel obliged to meet the sexual needs of your partner. This

might not be true for everybody, but it was a truth I was living.

My ex and I were together for a pretty long time, almost 6 years to be

exact. He was my everything. Love was there but love quickly turned to

lust. “Send me a picture” or “I can’t wait to see you tonight” began to

become phrases I would fear. Fear of the shame if I didn’t supply his needs

of pictures or his sexual appetite at night, I simply forced myself. I thought

it was love. I thought my face against a car seat was love. I thought the

warm tears rolling down my cheeks as it all happened was love. I thought

the numbness and wishing it would end was love.

My body would say yes, but my heart silently broke.

I consented and was ashamed of my experiences, because of that reason.

I consented. Was it rape? No. I allowed this to go on, only to deal with my

scars later on. I was weak to speak, but don’t let that be the case for you.

Speak up and rise up. There is hope for you and a better more meaningful

life ahead. Never sacrifice your heart for the selfish needs of others. Break

the silence.