How Can I Stop This From Happening Again?

If I wanted him to do that, I would've asked him to. I didn't, but he did it anyway. When my repeatedly saying "no" and "stop" weren't enough for him, I resorted to hitting him. I hit and banged on his chest, all the while still yelling "stop." What didn't he understand about that? Did he think because he bought me a coffee, I owed him my body? Is that what his twisted mind thought was a fair trade? I didn't even know his last name. All I knew was his face and what he felt like inside of me. All I felt for him was unadulterated hate and disgust. I wanted to shed every last inch of my skin that he laid his hands on because he made me feel dirty.

And I loathed myself for not reporting what had happened.

I was terrified. What if no one believed me? What if I was blamed for going out in the first place? Was it my fault? I lost myself for a long time after that. And one of the worst parts was that I thought I couldn't talk to anyone about it. It was this enormous burden I had kept to myself. To this day, that is my biggest regret. Now, those questions seem so trivial. All I ask now is, how can I stop this from happening again? I talk about it. I share this story, unashamed. I encourage others to share theirs and to report what had happened to them.

You deserve better. The next person deserves better. It's scary. It is. But you are not alone in this.

Amanda Chuning is an artist, writer, and the author of "The Last Time," available at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/p/the-last-time-amanda-chuning/1125869197/2676339271459?st=PLA&sid=BNB_DRS_Marketplace+Shopping+greatbookprices_00000000&2sid=Google_&sourceId=PLGoP24104